How to Navigate a Job Interview

Getting the Job You Want

Disclaimer: The author (me) does not claim to be a job coach, life coach, or anything coach (well, except Girls on the Run).

However, the author (still me) has also sat in many interviews, on both sides of the table. Additionally, the author has facilitated mock interviews with high school students. There seem to be consistent areas across the board where people feel unsure or uneasy. There are also consistent patterns of interviews worth explaining to interviewees so they can focus on duties of a job rather than how to get through an interview.

P.S. (pre-script): I personally believe the interview process is antiquated (outdated, old) and will hopefully be replaced by something more practical in the near future such as observations or try-outs for jobs.

Start by telling yourself you are the most qualified person for the job. Then try to believe it.


Getting an Interview

Send an email to whoever’s name is listed as a contact person for a job when you submit your application, or click ‘apply’ if using a website. The email can simply tell the employer how much you would like the chance to have an interview because you would love to work for their company.

If possible, go to the place of employment in person to deliver your application, especially if most people are simply attaching it to a website. When people see you, they remember you, and you immediately stand out to them, But be sure to dress professionally when you go in or it can backfire!

Research the company a little bit ahead of time. This way, if something stands out or is important to them, you can build it into your answers. For example, if their slogan is “we care about customers,” when they ask what you can bring to the company, you can say “I will always work to make sure customers are satisfied with their service.”

The Interview

Wear: nice clothes and shoes

Brush: hair and teeth

Bring: pen and paper

Leave your phone somewhere out of sight and turn it off, not just on vibrate.

Be. On. Time. (Which means 10 minutes early) This gives you time to relax, possibly fill out papers if they have any for you, and who knows - maybe they'll give you questions to review?!

What to Expect

Setting

If they are a few minutes late starting your interview, this is nothing to worry about. Often times a committee is finishing a conversation about an interview before you, or chatting about how they are going to take turns asking questions. They have a little “work” to do in the interview process as well.

Sometimes you will be with one interviewer, sometimes it will be a committee. If it’s one on one, you may sit across from someone at their desk. If it’s a group, you might be at a table or crammed into an office - I’ve seen it all. If more than one person interviews you, you will probably be sitting facing them.

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Be yourself, be truthful and comfortable with your answers. Reflect the emotions of the interviewers. If they are smiling, you smile. If they are serious, don’t make jokes or flip statements. It is permissible to appear nervous as interviews are very important, and they know you are probably nervous anyway.

Questions

If it is an hourly job, the questions will likely be linked to specific job duties. Any questions that you do not already know, you can say you are a quick learner or that you’ve wanted to learn how to do (said skill) anyway.

If it is a career type job, you will have some job specific questions as well and will probably need to know the answers. Typically if you are qualified for a job, it is not a problem answering these questions.

The good news is most interview questions do not have one specific correct answer. Rather, committees are looking at your ability to explain, relate, and generally speak to topics.

Process

When you enter the interview room, smile. Thank them for taking the time for your interview.

Answer questions without rambling. Think of your key point of an answer and elaborate only on that point. Make your answers long enough to cover the topic, but short enough to be interesting. Listing every example you can think of is not necessary, might bore the interviewers, and will create an awkward conversational environment. You can search sample interview questions, although they are often generic in search findings, so keep that in mind. Searching a specific job aeea may bring back more specific search results in regards to question samples. Click below to see sample questions thanks to monster.com

If there’s a question you aren’t sure of an answer for, just say something like “that is new to me but I am happy to learn about it,” or “I can’t think of something off the top of my head, can you give me an example?” Nobody expects you to know everything.

When you leave, smile and thank them again for the interview. Notice if someone reaches out to shake your hand and respond by shaking theirs. It’s an added bonus to look them in the eyes as you do, even briefly.

If you are able to access emails of those who were on the interview, thank them for their time and for the interview. At the least you probably have access to the person who contacted you for the interview so you can just email them to thank them for the opportunity.

The Waiting Game

Sometimes the committee will tell you how long until they make a decision about who they will hire for the position. When they call, if you are not selected, it is fair to ask “is there anything specific I can work on for my next interview?” It is also fair to simply thank them for the interview. If you are selected be sure to ask when you will begin, what you need to wear, and if there is anything you need to know or do before your first day. You will have at least a day, usually a few days of training so you do not need to know every detail (trust that what they tell you will be sufficient for a successful first day).

Remember! Every interview is practice for future interviews. There is no such thing as a failed interview. There are only lessons learned for the next one(s).

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Going to a Wedding

Turn Wedding Blues into a Day of Wedding Bliss

It Starts with an Invitation

You have been invited to a wedding! You should be happy, right? Don’t worry if a wedding invitation makes you more overwhelmed than excited. This is true for many people!

RSVP as soon as you can. People planning a wedding appreciate knowing how many people will attend because this number is required for ordering food, tables, etc.

Usually the RSVP card is self-explanatory. It usually indicates whether or not you can attend, how many guests will come from your party (if you are single this one is simple), and what you would like to eat if it is catered and not buffet style.

If more than one person from your party is going, you just write the number of each meal type on the little line next to the option.

IMPORTANT: only bring a guest if specifically indicated to do so on the invitation. It will say something like, “you and a guest are invited…”

If you do get to bring a guest, it is perfectly acceptable to bring a “date” that is simply a friend. If there is not someone you would like to bring to such an event, you do not need to bring a date. It is just a kind opportunity provided by the guests of honor.

Gift

Typically a couple getting married will register at a couple of places and you can simply find their names, then choose a gift to buy for them. They will let guests know where they are registered, perhaps on the invitation or “save the date” card sent before the invitations.

You can either send the gift to them ahead of time in the mail, or bring it to the wedding. Either is equally as acceptable.

The Event

Attire (what to wear): If the invitation indicates the type of attire, you can do an internet search for examples of outfits for the type indicated. If the invitation does not indicate attire, simply dress somewhat nice. I have found at every wedding I have attended there is a wide range of fanciness. To a large degree, it depends on each guests’ style and preferences.

Arrival: This is by far the most nerve-wracking part of any event, including a wedding. Hopefully you will see other guests walking in and can follow them, there are signs showing you, or it is obvious because you pull right up to where the ceremony will take place. The last option is most common if it is at a church. Sometimes however, weddings are on a beach or unseen area of a large property and this is when you hope for other guests or signs.

As you walk into a venue, just look around to see what everyone else is doing. There is a great deal of variability when it comes to weddings. Some will begin with mingling before the ceremony, some will start with the ceremony at one location then move to another for a reception.

Seating

For the ceremony, you’ll be able to sit anywhere. At some weddings there is a designation of which side to sit on based on which person getting married you are family/friend of. Whether there is a designation or not, it really does not matter which side you sit on. If you are unsure, just sit anywhere except the first or second row. These two rows are usually for the immediate family. If you are there as immediate family, your family will have shown you where to sit and it may be in one of those two rows.

If you are eating a meal at the reception, seating can be uncomfortable. Just know most people are a little uncomfortable when first finding a seat and as they are first easing into sitting with strangers and/or people they have not seen in a while.

Meal

Some weddings have assigned seating for lunch/dinner and some do not. When there is assigned seating, just find your name card and have a seat. Sometimes the cards are all on a table. In this case, you find your name then find your table accordingly and pick a seat at that table.

When there is not assigned seating, it is up to you to find a seat. This can be stressful if you do not know people at the wedding. Do not let it freak you out though, people will never say you cannot sit with them, and usually people like meeting someone new.

How do I know if a seat is taken?
If you said something like “there is a personal item on the chair or on the plate” you are correct!

There’s no perfect way to act. The great news is, you were invited because the couple getting married wants you there! Keep that in mind throughout the event, as any insecurities start to pop up. So go ahead, you be you.

Use your manners! Within the idea that everyone should be allowed to be themselves, it is also important to use basic manners. Of course there are the typical “please and thank you,” but there are a few more that are not quite as obvious.

Lunch/Dinner:

Buffet: Wait until the wedding party is served before you get in line

Plated (they bring it to your table): Wait until your whole table is served before starting

• If you don’t like the food, don’t mention it. Just eat what you like.

• If there is something shared on the table (e.g., a basket of bread), only take your share.

• When it comes to knowing which silverware, glassware, etc. is yours, simply watch what others are taking then act accordingly if you are unsure.

Bar: If you are 21 or older and enjoy alcoholic beverages, there are a few details to know about the bar at weddings. There are different terms for types of service chosen by the hosts (of course you can always do an internet search if you forget what each means). Regardless of which type of bar is chosen, be sure to tip the bartenders! One or two dollars each drink is appropriate.

No Host Bar: Guests pay for their own drinks

Hosted Bar: Drinks are free. Sometimes the wedding party will designate types of drinks being served. For example, they may have a list of 5 drinks to choose from.

Open Bar: All drinks are free. Depending on the location of the wedding, there may be limited types of alcohol and they will tell you what they have.

Cash Bar: Just as it sounds, you pay for your drinks. Doesn’t have to be cash most places, can use a card too.

Limited: Drinks are paid for within a certain time frame. For example, for one hour between the ceremony and reception drinks are served to guests for free.

DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH. It is difficult to monitor consumption when you are nervous, or if you are really excited to see family and/or friends, the drinks are free (and usually delicious), you’ve looked forward to this event for a while…the list goes on. You will thank yourself the next day if you drink responsibly. You will feel physically healthier, and you will have peace of mind that you were in control.

Dancing

If you enjoy dancing, dance. If you do not enjoy dancing, don’t dance. The great thing at a wedding is that it is perfectly acceptable and expected to do either one. Some people even enjoy standing outside the dance floor and watching people dance. For slow songs, weddings are not like awkward school dances. Typically the people who dance to the slow songs are married couples, fathers and daughters, or other people who know each other well. There is no pressure to ask someone to dance and very unlikely anyone with formally ask you to dance.

Have Fun!

Make sure to remember that this is one of the most important days in this couple’s life. They have planned a special celebration not only for themselves, but for their friends and family too. Enjoy yourself!

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Making Friends

Making Friends 

Friendships  

We all need companionship.  Friendship is an important part of life.  Some people like to have many friends that they talk to and/or see occasionally, while others prefer to have a couple very close friends that they talk to and/or see frequently, and others like to have both types of friendships. Friendships are different for everyone.  There is no recipe dictating how often you have to speak, what you have to talk about, exactly what to do when spending time together, or any other aspect of the friendship.  It is up to each person how they develop and foster their relationships with people.   

Friends Do: 

• Care about each other’s happiness 

• Like each other’s company 

• Take time to work through difficult situations 

• Share interests and hobbies 

• Look out for each other’s well-being 

• Get happy to see each other’s successes 

• Try to help each other when possible 

• Listen to each other 

• Talk about life experiences, successes and difficulties, family, hobbies, etc. 

• Make sacrifices  

Friends Don’t: 

• Get jealous of each other 

• Have to talk every day 

• Make each other feel bad on purpose 

• Steal from each other 

• Use each other for their own benefit (for example, put you in a bad situation in order to get something they want) 

• Ask you to do things they know could get you in trouble 

• Embarrass you 

• Make you feel guilty 

• Have to tell deepest secrets in order to be a good friend 

When you Hang Out 

Setting up a time to hang out: 

• Decide on something both people will enjoy doing 

• Figure out the exact time/day to get together 

• Exchange phone numbers 

• Figure out how you will get to and from where you’re going 

• Figure out if you will need to bring anything (money, for example) 

• Show up!  

Be the friend you would want others to be for you. Sometimes friends are only in our lives for a small time, when we work together, when we’re on a sports team or classmate, and sometimes you will be friends for a long time!

Remember To:

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

IEP Meeting at School

IEP Meetings

How to Get Through Your Special Education Meeting

f you dread your special education meetings (or any school meeting all about you), you’re not alone. Most people don’t have to sit in a meeting where multiple professionals – teachers, counselors, therapists, etc. talk about their progress – or lack thereof. Painful, right?

Or you might be thinking you kind of like these meetings if you are a student who works really hard all the time and all of the professionals come with only nice things to say. However, even in this case it can still be awkward or uncomfortable.

So how does one manage the discomfort of such meetings?

1. It is OK for you to speak out your concerns, goals, and desires at these meetings. Here’s the most important thing I can teach you: those are supposed to be the purpose of these meetings!

2. These meetings are not supposed to be parent/teacher conferences, they are not intended to be a forum for teachers to complain about everything you’ve ever done wrong, and they most certainly are not productive if the focus is not on how to help you be successful.

3. Let’s focus on what the school DOES want you to do, tools that can be implemented to help you reach your full potential, and a plan for how you will successfully complete your school experience.

If you are in a meeting and you notice the focus is not on your goals and ways the school can help you reach those goals, speak up. Politely mention that it is easier to improve if you s) feel comfortable and b) know the expectations.

Talk to your parent(s) before the meeting about helping you be sure the meeting is productive!

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Understanding Dating

Dating

Important Dating Terms

Dating: Two people consider each other to be boyfriend/girlfriend

Going Out: Same as dating

Date: Two people go somewhere as more than just friends.  The guy should pay for whatever it is they go out to do, but this isn’t always the case – sometimes the girl offers to pay for herself or for both people. 

Good ideas for a date are the movies, dinner, going to the mall, going somewhere in your city known to be a nice ‘hangout spot’, going skating or something similar.

How It All Works

In our society, the typical pattern of relationships is that around middle school or high school people start dating (see next section for details).  Some people don’t date until much later in life.  It happens at different times for different people.  If you think about it, the main reason for dating is to find someone you want to spend a lot of time with, or maybe even eventually marry.  If you are dating someone who starts to bug you or you notice you are still attracted to other people easily, you should probably end the relationship. 

After people date seriously, after varied amounts of time they decide they would like to get married.  Age is not a factor of when you get married (although usually it’s after age 18), it’s when you are ready.  However, in general it’s best to date someone around your same age. This way you have interests in common. 

Getting Together and/or Breaking Up

Different Forms of Dating:

• A girl and a boy start hanging out then it develops into having a feeling for each other different than just being friends       

• A girl or a boy has a ‘crush’ (they are attracted to another person as more than just a friend) so they ask them to “go out”.  If the other person likes them in the same way, they agree to “go out”.

• You decide to start to go out on dates with different people but make it clear you are not looking for a serious relationship.

Around high school age, nobody has to technically ask the other person to “go out”, rather the two people just start to spend a lot of time together and talk/text one or more times per day. 

Unofficial Rules:        

When you are dating someone, it’s OK to talk to and hang out with other people of the same sex. You would just have to be careful not to spend too much time or talk all the time to that other person or the person you’re dating might become jealous.

One person should not do all of the calling, talking, or nice deeds for the other person. This should be reciprocal.  If you start to notice you are always the one calling, you might want to hold off a little bit to see if the other person calls you.  If they don’t, they probably aren’t interested anymore.  It’s OK to ask them if they are or aren’t. 

If someone says they’re “not interested”, they “don’t want a relationship”, they’d “like to see other people”, etc., you should realize they don’t want to date you anymore. This is OK because you can find another person you’d be interested in dating after a while.

It’s normal to still feel like you want to be around a person after you break up. You’ll get over them eventually after you aren’t in contact with them as much anymore. It just makes things worse to beg, smother, or make the other person feel guilty. It never helps people get back together when they do the trust is often gone and things have changed from when you were in the relationship. Give yourself time to move on too without rushing into the next relationship.

In Closing:

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!