Holiday Fun Guide

Free and easy activities to bring

JOY

to your holiday season

Search Activities in Your Area

• Parades

• Special Events at Religious Organizations

• Festivals at Parks or Community Centers

• Santa Visits

• Fun Runs

• Christmas Light Viewing

• Tree Lightings

• Concerts

Parades

Arrive 30 minutes early to find parking and walk to where you can see the parade. Depending on the popularity and size of the town the parade will take place, it may be necessary to arrive even earlier to get a spot where you can see the parade.

Special Events at Religious Organizations

When an event is advertised to the public one can assume everyone is welcome regardless of religious views. Events include things like decorative “villages,” demonstrations of traditions such as games played at celebrations and craft projects, meals, and so forth. Religious organizations are often the most welcoming and accepting venues a person could take part in. You can go alone or with someone, you can wear what you’d like, and rarely (if ever) would you be put in an uncomfortable social situation.

Festivals at Parks or Community Centers

Everything from gingerbread house making to decorated horse carriage rides might be found at community events. Sometimes meals are included, some are used as fund raisers, and most are incredibly fun. You can remain as anonymous or social as you choose. These are usually the most frequently found events when searching for holiday events in your area. You should expect a crowd.

“We are better throughout the year for having in spirit become a child again at Christmas-time. ”

— Laura Engalls Wilder

Santa Visits

Santa isn’t just for kids. Ok, maybe the sitting on his lap part should be reserved for kids. But usually where there is a public Santa visit, there is also a spirit of joy and excitement. If his visit is simply for pictures, it’s probably only worth going if you plan to get a picture. However, usually his visits are surrounded by some additional holiday festivities.

Fun Runs

If you enjoy a community run/walk event, this is a great time of year to find one near you or in a destination of choice to gather with like-minded individuals. Fun runs are full of entertaining outfits, a festive t-shirt (usually), positive attitudes, and cheer to set your holiday off right. The names of runs this time of year are often quite clever!

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Simply Stated: Voting

“According to a study conducted by Rutgers University and Syracuse University, if voters with disabilities voted at the same rate as their non-disabled peers with the same demographics (age, income, ethnicity, etc.) 3 million more people would have voted in the 2016 election. ”

— The Ruderman Family Foundation

How To Vote

Want to vote? How-To Guide below!

Note: If you have the assistance of a guardian or conservator (someone who helps to oversee legal matters, pay bills, and so forth) they may be able to assist you through the process, including when you visit the polls.

Terms are defined at the end of the post so if you get to a word you haven’t heard before, check the terms list. If it’s not there, drop a note in the comments section.

Register

You have to register (get your name on file with the government) to be able to vote when elections come.

Most states want you registered by October. Exact deadlines for each state:
https://www.usvotefoundation.org/vote/state-elections/state-election-dates-deadlines.htm

How to register.

Each state has its own process, but here are some basic guidelines.

1) Mail-In Registration

Go to website. Print. Fill it out. Mail it in.

Go to https://www.eac.gov/voters/national-mail-voter-registration-form and click on the link “National Mail Voter Registration Form.” For this method, you need to print a registration form, fill it out, and mail it in. If you don’t have a printer you might ask around since most people would be willing to print a form for someone who wants to register. Just search “voter registration form.” When you find it, it will appear very long but there’s only one actual page to fill out. On the government site it looks like the same page twice but one is for those who prefer to type on the form rather than print, and the other is if you want to print first then write answers.

Basically, just print the page that looks like this at the top.

On the registration form you can scroll down to find instructions for your state. BASICALLY, as long as you meet the main guidelines you can sign up. This is where you find the address of where to mail your form. DO IT BEFORE OCTOBER and you’ll be good to go.

2) Online Registration

Vote.gov is an easy way to get to online registration. Plan ahead because sometimes the website is down temporarily for maintenance. The website will walk you through the steps to register.

1. Requirements

Voting time! November 3rd.

Mail In Vote

In 2020 most states are automatically sending ballots (the form to vote with) to every registered voter. You will mark it then send it back. How will we ever know if it got there? I have no idea, but I hope they are monitoring the process closely. There are many safety measures in place to protect your vote.

Before mail in votes became a big deal because of the pandemic, we only called mail in votes absentee ballots (get it, because you’re absent?). You can still request an absentee ballot regardless of where you live. You just go to vote.org to register to be an absentee voter. It’s really very easy and they just send you a ballot.

In-Person Voting

In 2020, this might not be an option. If it is an option, it’s also very easy. Take your ID with you to the polling place you are designated to (ask a neighbor if you’re unsure, they assign you by where you live). Great news! You can request a sample ballot ahead of time on one of the government websites (search online). Then you can go through candidates and topics with someone you trust to explain them well. Be sure you are doing this with someone who will allow you to vote the way you truly believe, not the way they want you to. You can mark your choices on this sample ballot. Then when you walk into the polling place you simply get in line, show them your ID, then they’ll give you a tool that looks like a pencil but it’s used to tap the screen to fill in your choices (pretty cool!). On a touch screen you’ll mark your choices for each ballot item. When you get to the finish screen, cast your vote then you’re all done! Turn in your pencil-looking tool on your way out and grab a sticker to let people know you voted!

Learning about voting topics (non-persuasive).

DID YOU KNOW…You can do an internet search of your state and request a guide about issues and candidates up for vote? WARNING, some of the language used is extremely confusing, but it’s still helpful. Believe it or not, we can not rely on social media, memes, clever posts from people or commercials to truly inform us. Don’t get caught in the trap of convincing posts! Keep your true voice and vote for what you believe. In order to do this, you need to learn about the issues and candidates.

While they are very important, there is SO MUCH MORE to vote for beyond the president and senators. You don’t have to vote on everything! But you should vote on the issues and candidates with which you’re familiar.

It wasn’t until my late 20’s that I learned you can research the ways presidential candidates voted on issues during their time in congress (if they were in congress). For example, a candidate might say “everyone should have access to fair pay!” and then you might look into their past voting on issues that congress votes on and find out that same candidate voted against a bill to protect fair pay for people with disabilities. If you have time, look into the candidates. Simply use internet searches for particular candidates, searching “voting history on issues.”

When choosing news sources, you can use this media bias chart as a guide to improve chances of receiving reliable information.

Media bias chart

To read the full paper about voting barriers for people with disabilities (copy and paste link into URL bar): https://rudermanfoundation.org/the-ruderman-white-paper-voting-accessibility-for-people-with-disabilities/

If interested, you can learn about mental health issues and who to vote for based on your personal preferences on issues at: https://www.nami.org/Advocacy/Take-Action-on-Advocacy-Issues/Vote4MentalHealth/Learn-the-Issues

Be the change, cast your vote! Your opinion is valuable and critically needed. If there are access barriers along the way, take note and let’s work together to remove barriers for the next election! If not you, then who?

Voting Terms

Polling Station: The place you go to vote if you are going in person.

Bias: To lean toward one set of opinions, or to have ideas based on experiences rather than facts

Ballot: A paper form or computerized list of items to vote on

Cast your vote: This just means to vote. “Cast” is the verb we use when turning in a ballot

Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)

Just kidding, there is no possible way I could attempt to explain Autism Spectrum Disorders in one post. But I did make a few lists of 5 that I think can be helpful to people! If you have a “top 5” or an idea for a top 5, post it in the comments and we can add to the post.

First up, my favorite TedTalks about Neurodiversity:

The Autism Experience, Samuel Beldie

The Truth About Growing Up Disabled, Dylan Alcott

Love, No Matter What, Andrew Solomon

Why Everything You Know About Autism is Wrong, Jac den Houting

I Got 99 Problems…Palsy is Just One, Maysoon Zayid

5 Environmental Components

We want to create environments that are “friendly” to people with typical and atypical neurological development. While every individual is unique, some fairly universal components of environment to pay attention to when building environments conducive to people with or without ASD are as follows.

Lighting and Seating

Arrangement of People

Predictable and Consistent Schedule

Language Usage (clear, concise)

Sensory Input (e.g.,. control of sounds)

5 Misconceptions About Autism Spectrum Disorders

No qualifier should be used to describe all individuals in any group of people unless the group is specifically designed around particular qualifiers. Rather than dispelling each of the following generalizations which become misconceptions when used inaccurately, let’s just do this: in life, talk to people before making assumptions. There is way too much variability and nuance involved in human beings as well as in each of the following factors to globally attach them to each other (the humans to the factors). While some of the following may be true for some people with ASD, the same could be said for people not diagnosed with ASD. Depending on who we are describing, the following could be partially true, completely untrue, require further explanation, and so forth. In a nutshell, the following descriptors become misconceptions when used as generalizations.

Preference to be alone

Gifted in one particular skill

“high functioning” and “low functioning”

Void of emotions

Lack of sense of humor

Remember to leave a comment if you have an idea for a top 5 or even if you have a list you’d like to share!

As always, to everyone out there regardless of life circumstances, age, ability, and more -

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

How to Handle Disappointment

Disappointment Comes in Many Shapes and Sizes

disappointment: sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations

My daughter who is in middle school recently faced the biggest disappointment of her life thus far. I’ve had quite a few disappointments myself, and I can say this one was a real doozie. To honor her privacy I’m going to spare the details but trust me when I say the details are what magnified the blow. Moving forward, my hope for her is that she remains as kind, optimistic, and humble as she is proving to be right now. The way she encourages others in the midst of her pain and embarrassment says more about her character than any circumstance ever could. In this situation she is choosing to persevere, knowing perseverance will come with a price (by “sticking with it,” her circumstances are visible to everyone else). These are choices. At the height of her disappointment, she is consciously choosing not to curl up in a ball, which honestly sometimes feels like the easier option. Don’t get me wrong, there have been tears. There have been comments that sent my heart into my throat. The events related to this disappointment will last about 6 weeks, and the emotional effects of this event will likely last a lifetime. The emotional effects aren’t necessarily negative though. See, that’s what makes disappointment unique. While it hurts initially, it also has potential help us develop as a person. Our choices in the moments surrounding our disappointment dictate how we let it impact us. We can choose to learn. We can choose to look to people who lift us up and stick with them. We can choose to build on our strengths. We can choose to celebrate the strengths of others.

“The way she encouraged others...said more about her character than the circumstances ever could”

The hope

The good news in all of this is that we can control our choices. We can’t control circumstances or people, but we control our responses. Yes, my daughter could have chosen to curl up in a ball or hide from the world for a while. She could have chosen to blame certain people or point out fault in the given situation (trust me, the opportunities were there). She could have chosen to be bitter, angry, jealous, and/or even self-righteous. She could have chosen to bring down others. Perhaps these choices would have helped her survive the difficult circumstance at the time, however none of them would have changed the circumstances. At least not forever. And she certainly wouldn’t have felt any better.
You know what does have lasting gratification and long term effects? Choosing not to succumb to the disappointment. My daughter chose to hold her head up high despite the unbearable weight of disappointment trying to pull it down. It’s as though her resistance to the disappointment through sheer grit and determination tangibly chipped away at the weight. I learned more about resilience by watching a 12 year old choose to put one step in front of the other and continue to be encouraging during her disappointment than I ever could have prepared for by reading about it or searching for inspirational quotes (I did both by the way). The disappointment that was initially palpable and all-consuming, was pushed into the shadows. It lurked, waiting to take over again. In fact, it’s still waiting. But every time she gives a compliment either to or about someone, the disappointment loses power. Every time she says “I’m going to keep trying” the disappointment loses power. When someone does something to include her or says something encouraging, the disappointment loses a whole lot of power. When you have your moment in the spotlight or circumstances are in your favor, be aware of those who are fighting the beast of disappointment. Your love and kindness will exponentially help this fight.

“Every time she says “I’m going to keep trying” the disappointment loses power. ”

The Anatomy And Impact of Disappointment

Disappointments can be small, or they can be big. Some are short-lived while others last forever. Some disappointments are a one-time blow while some are ongoing. By definition, disappointment begins with an excitement, a goal, a positive look ahead, and crashes down into sadness, sometimes a deep sadness. Regardless of shape and size, all disappointments impact our soul. We have choice and control over the level of impact. We either choose to let it grow us as a person or we let it cripple us. We can let it harden our heart, or soften our heart. We can try to sabotage each other or build each other up. We can wish ill on others or cheer for them. We can focus on the people we disagree with or we can surround ourselves with stronger, more positive people. The impact of disappointment can be leveraged by the amount of resilience a person is able to apply. Thankfully, resilience is not static - it is a concept and thought process we can work to strengthen over time. This does not mean we have to get used to negative situations. It means we don’t have to be defined by negative situations or sit back and accept them. According to an article by various contributors published by the American Psychological Association, “resilience involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop” (apa.org, 2012). This is good news for all of us! For more information on this topic, check out https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience.

Responding to Disappointment

While we can’t avoid disappointment completely, we can avoid and minimize the impact of some disappointments. A couple tips that might help:

• Choose kindness. Kindness will choose you in return.

• Keep good company. If a friend continually disappoints you, stop hanging out with them.
  If it’s a family member, come up with mental tools to minimize the effects of their actions (or in-actions).

• Choose optimism

• Continually take steps whether large or small toward goals. If you don’t have goals, refer to the New Year, New Goals post on this site. But keep moving.

• Smile. Even when you don’t feel like it. Not all the time, but at least sometimes.

• Remember disappointment is normal.

• Look forward, even when it means having to look past someone or some circumstance blocking your vision. Outlast them.

• Find better people.

• Journal. Seriously, try it. Jot down events, how you feel each day, or whatever comes to mind. You’ll probably find this to help put things in perspective.

  If there’s a coach or employer who denies you when you know you were worthy of a position, there’s a stronger coach or employer out there somewhere you haven’t met yet. If a relationship doesn’t work out even when it seemed perfect, disappointment is there to tell you it wasn’t the right relationship for you after all. When a loved one disappoints you, remember you can’t control their actions but you can control your response.
  There’s a song by Hillsong United, “Another In the Fire,” I highly recommend.

If you find yourself in an emotional pit you can’t seem to get out of (such as deep sadness, or long-term low self esteem), the strongest move you can make is to seek help. There are people who know what to say and what you need to do. If you don’t know where to find these people, ask around. Someone will know someone. That’s how the world works.

Boy at the top of stairs on a mature trail

Disappointment is painful enough. Don’t let it suck you in, weigh you down. Chip away at it by moving forward in the least expected but most effective ways. Don’t freeze up. The disappointment will swallow you. Move forward. Leave it in a puddle behind you, no matter how long it takes to inch out in front of it. It will eventually lose track of you.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

— MLK

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Goals Change Lives

Set Some Goals!

Just do it. Goal setting doesn’t have to be stressful. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. The only way to go wrong is to not do it at all. Goals give us something to look forward to, something to aim for, and a way to focus efforts in our day to day lives.

Ideas

Stumped? Here are a few common goal categories followed by a couple goal ideas, free for the adopting!

But First, What to Avoid

Generally speaking, goals to quit doing something, stop consuming something, or otherwise withholding something do not have long term success. It is easier to reach toward something, to learn to adopt a habit rather than to withhold a habit. Think of a dog being told to sit and wait while a treat is 4 feet in front of them. Even if they are able to wait, all they are thinking about is that treat. Then think of that same dog who sees the treat on the ground but is working on rolling over or fetching a ball. The treat is still there, but rather than simply working on not taking it, the dog is working on something that involves a new action and fulfillment, and is no longer or minimally aware of the tempting treat.

Ideas for Goals

Work Life

New job (if you do this one, be specific and set mini-goals within this big goal such as “fill out application,” and “write new resume”)

Get to know a new person you work with

Arrive to work 5 minutes earlier each day.

Recreation

Start a new hobby (ideas include sports, crafts, collecting, and more)

Exercise at least 20 minutes 5 days a week

Spend 1 hour less each day watching television (first figure out about how much you view daily)

Education

What major educational step would be next for you? Set a goal.

If you are in an educational institution already, how can you improve? Should you work on being organized? If so, set an actionable goal such as getting a new binder and setting it up with classes, tabs, and so forth.

Increase self-advocacy

Improve attendance

Work on homework for ______minutes each night before doing fun activities

Social Life

Talk to one new person each day, even if it means just asking how their day is going

Join one new online social media forum (twitter is my big goal!)

Develop one friendship more deeply (take an existing friend/acquaintance and think about how to get to know them better)

Ask an elderly neighbor if they need help with anything such as yard work or walking a dog

Interact with neighbors (take them a treat, say hi before going inside, etc.)

Focus on one social skill you’d like to improve. For example, one of mine (I have many) is not interrupting the person I’m talking to. Others might include remembering to ask others questions rather than only talking about yourself, listening more intently so you remember what someone said, or omitting unnecessary details from stories.

Self Care

Make that dentist or doctor appointment you’ve been putting off

Get a haircut

Floss twice a day. Ok, maybe at least once if you’re not doing it at all yet (let’s be realistic)

Eat a vegetable at every meal

If you have junk food habits, choose one to improve but be precise for yourself

Home and Daily Living

Develop a new cleaning routine for your living quarters

Clean out cupboards

Create a budget (and stick to it)

Wash carpets (or) curtains (or) blinds

Organize clothes, donate any you haven’t worn in a year that aren’t special

Purge items you do not need - donate, donate, donate. Throw away unusable items.

Yard work - if you don’t have a yard, maybe help a parent or grandparent

Final Note

At the risk of sounding dramatic, I can honestly say goals saved me from myself in early adulthood. If I didn’t have a goal of becoming a teacher I have no idea where I would be. It made me make healthier choices in order to get to classes, develop social skills required to speak to instructors when needed, organize my life in order to get to work and classes while managing homework, and so much more. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to do with your life, but thinking hard about some things you want either long and/or short term will change your trajectory if you focus on what you want. You are in control of your future and you get to make choices to get out of or into positions you desire.
Start as big or small as you want. Just don’t make the mistake of never starting.

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Thanksgiving Dinner Prep

A Stress-Free Guide to Preparing Thanksgiving Dinner

I love the way Thanksgiving feels. I love the beautiful fall colors, being with loved ones, reminders of all that we have to be thankful for, and the completeness of Thanksgiving dinner. Thanksgiving dinner is about more than an abundance of decadent comfort foods. It is about taking the time to sit and visit, to enjoy a meal we get once a year, and to slow things down for a bit. Unfortunately for the cook, the time leading up to the meal includes rushing to get everything done, hoping everything will come together, and working through a giant mess in the kitchen, While I enjoy cooking, I often dream up an experience much different than what actually takes place. In large part this is due to my inability to mentally organize all of the tasks needed to ‘make it happen.’ I had a moment of clarity when I realized what I need is a timeline. It isn’t making the dishes that is taxing, it’s timing all of it. Once I started making a timeline, I thought, why not add a menu and shopping list so the timing chart will work? And the best part is, I was able to find some incredible healthy recipes to build my Thanksgiving dinner!

The link below “Guide for the Chef” offers a delicious Thanksgiving dinner menu with a shopping list and timing guide included! I’m a little biased, but each dish is DELISH. You may want to add your own twist (e.g., gravy types are personal…) but I will definitely be using this for the meal I’m prepping this year!

For some great ideas for family traditions and table decorating check out our Pinterest page in the “thanksgiving” board!

Click “Guide for the Chef” below to view the guide!

Driving

Let’s Drive

Where Do We Start?

Thanks to online search engines, the actual steps to obtaining a driver’s license are fairly easy to locate and follow.

THIS POST however, intends to support some of the less obvious “to do” items along the way.

• Everyone is nervous. If you wait until you do not feel nervous, you probably will never drive.

• Ask questions along the way. Everyone does.

• Practice, practice, practice

Roadblocks

·       The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)…

·       Fear of failure of steps along the way to obtain the license

·       I don’t know how to take care of a vehicle

·       I can’t afford a car anyway, why bother

·       It’s hard to know what I would need once I get a license

·       Nuances of hitting the road

·       What if I get pulled over?

DMV and Fear

Good news! Everyone fails along the way when getting a driver’s license. OK, not the best news. But rest assured it is very normal to have to take either the written or performance test more than once. The performance test should be a little easier, as long as you have practiced until you feel very comfortable.

Use the supports!

1.     Go online and look for tips

2.     Take a pamphlet from the DMV to use to study the rules of the road

3.     Let the proctor of the testing room and/or the performance test judge know if you have any needs they should be aware of. For example, a people who perform better when speaking out loud to themselves should tell evaluators that ahead of time, just to make everyone more comfortable.

4. Be sure to prepare for any tests or procedures. If you are prepared you will be fine! If you do not study, practice, or read what you need to bring you might be setting yourself up for a wasted trip. It happens to people all the time so it’s nothing to worry about but your chances of success increase substantially if you prepare.

Vehicle Care

Getting Gas

Don’t wait until the tank is empty. This can land you in a stressful situation if you run out.*

Recommendation: find a gas station you like and go there as often as possible (when you need gas of course). This helps with familiarity, predictability, and so forth. It may not sound like a big deal, but finding one that is not busy very often can prevent a great deal of future stress.

It really isn’t difficult. Know which side your tank is on, how to open it, and bring a debit card or cash. What gets stressful is when you pull up and the place is busy. In this case, simply find other cars facing the same direction as you, and line up behind them. When they are finished, you just pull up. Trying to maneuver into the one open space often is not worth it because too many cars are going in different directions and you may find yourself facing or in the way of someone less patient than we hope for.

*If you do run out of gas, pull to the side of the road. Most likely you have cell phone and can call for roadside service (either someone you know, someone you subscribe with such as your insurance provider, or someone you find on an internet search). Whether you have a cell phone or not, another option is to walk to the nearest gas station and fill a portable gas can. Just unscrew the top/nozzle and pump it straight from the gas tank into the can. That may sound self-explanatory, but I thought I’d save you the time I once wasted trying to pump gas in through the actual nozzle (it wasn’t a fun experience and I wasted a lot of gas…and time!). You can pour this can directly into your car.

Oil Change

Stick to the time and mileage guidelines for when you need to take your vehicle in for an oil change. It’s great to find a place you like and return there each time. This prevents someone trying to convince you of things you don’t really need to do. For example, sometimes you will need things updated, such as an air filter. If you go to the same place each time, they will have your records of when you have had such updates.

Cost

Yep, being a driver of a personal vehicle can be costly. But there are ways to drive on a budget.

Buy used. If you know someone who knows about cars, it’s wise to take them car shopping with you either in person or on the internet.

Remember to include registration and insurance in your yearly budget. This way when it comes time to pay them, you have the money.

Don’t drive unless you need to get somewhere.

• Save on gas

• Less wear and tear on the car = less money spent on repairs and upkeep

• Few miles = fewer trips to get oil changes

Buying a car

The search.

At a dealership, someone will approach you as you walk in. It’s best to have a strong idea of what you are looking for in a vehicle otherwise they will try to sell you something you don’t need and/or will attempt to sell unnecessary luxuries. Be clear with what you want to spend. They will always, and I mean always try to stretch past what you say you can pay. Be prepared to spend time.

Looking online, follow similar guidelines as above with a few tweaks. Don’t be too picky, if you see a good deal it’s worth trying out a vehicle. Ask to drive it before purchasing. Take someone with you to meet up with the seller. Let them know you won’t be bringing cash for this visit (safety).

Smaller cars

• Use less gas

• Usually cost less to register

• Cost less to insure

• Parts (including tires) are usually cheaper

Choose wisely

See text for tips on choosing a car.

Needs of a Driver

ALWAYS carry your license with you, your registration, and insurance. Most people keep the last two either in the glove box (if it’s not full of random stuff), or in a little folder that can go in a door pocket, center console, or anywhere it will be kept safe.

A user manual for the vehicle. Yes, we can pull most things up online – but what happens if there is no service or a phone battery dies? Safe keeping = wise to keep this in the same place as your insurance and registration.

You can get a durable folder type thing online for very low cost. I recommend this method of safe storage of these important items.

In the trunk:

• First aid kit, including a warm blanket

• Spare tire

Hitting the Road

Don’t Panic! Since the road is occupied by humans, as with anything you will notice there are all types of people and all types of drivers.

• Aggressive

• Timid

• In a hurry

• Cautious

• Impatient/competitive

• Friendly

The list could go on forever. It’s helpful to remember this when driving. You’ll want to be yourself, while making sure to follow driving laws and being a kind person (a friendly wave should be the only hand gesture used in a car!).

Situations

If someone:

Honks at you
Don’t panic. They are either alerting you, or are just an angry or hurried person so don’t even bother looking their way. Either respond accordingly with your car (often it’s in a parking lot or a place cars are moving in different directions, so stopping to make sure you’re not about to hit someone/something is the correct response), or go about your business and be as courteous as possible.

Waves you on at an intersection
Make your move, they are letting you go.

Turns on their blinker in a parking lot
They are waiting for a spot, it’s like a way of “claiming” a spot where a person is pulling out

Is about to merge into you, back into you, or hit your car for some other reason
Give a little honk to alert them, or if able respond accordingly by getting out of the way

Cuts in front of you in their car
It’s up to you, but I recommend simply backing off. If you aren’t going to bump into them with your car, it’s not really worth it to honk. This just starts an altercation.  

Getting Pulled Over by the Police

If you notice a police officer’s lights on behind you, slowly pull to the right of the road. Of course, this part is hopefully obvious once you’ve passed a driving test.  

 Once you’ve pulled over:

• Roll down your passenger side window if possible, as this is likely where they will approach your vehicle.

• Have your license, registration, and insurance available to present to the officer.

• If you feel fit to do so or have reason to do so, it doesn’t hurt to let them know if you have a behavior or circumstance you feel they might want to know about. For example, if you think you may engage in stim behavior, mentioning this will help them understand. Remember, they are people too and most people can be startled by unexpected movements or vocalizations until they are made aware of the reasoning.

• Be polite!

• Wait while they go back to their vehicle, and don’t panic. Most people will get at least one ticket in their lifetime, it’s not something to be terribly upset by.

• They will come back to your car, let you know if you are getting a ticket, a warning, etc. If you have any questions, be sure to ask – it’s ok to clarify to make sure you know what to do next.

• Once they have left your car after saying what your consequence will be, you are free to slowly drive away.

Remember that everyone was a new driver at one point in their life and the more you do it, the easier it will get. Enjoy your new freedom and search out new things to do and see now that you can get more places.

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!

Making Friends

Making Friends 

Friendships  

We all need companionship.  Friendship is an important part of life.  Some people like to have many friends that they talk to and/or see occasionally, while others prefer to have a couple very close friends that they talk to and/or see frequently, and others like to have both types of friendships. Friendships are different for everyone.  There is no recipe dictating how often you have to speak, what you have to talk about, exactly what to do when spending time together, or any other aspect of the friendship.  It is up to each person how they develop and foster their relationships with people.   

Friends Do: 

• Care about each other’s happiness 

• Like each other’s company 

• Take time to work through difficult situations 

• Share interests and hobbies 

• Look out for each other’s well-being 

• Get happy to see each other’s successes 

• Try to help each other when possible 

• Listen to each other 

• Talk about life experiences, successes and difficulties, family, hobbies, etc. 

• Make sacrifices  

Friends Don’t: 

• Get jealous of each other 

• Have to talk every day 

• Make each other feel bad on purpose 

• Steal from each other 

• Use each other for their own benefit (for example, put you in a bad situation in order to get something they want) 

• Ask you to do things they know could get you in trouble 

• Embarrass you 

• Make you feel guilty 

• Have to tell deepest secrets in order to be a good friend 

When you Hang Out 

Setting up a time to hang out: 

• Decide on something both people will enjoy doing 

• Figure out the exact time/day to get together 

• Exchange phone numbers 

• Figure out how you will get to and from where you’re going 

• Figure out if you will need to bring anything (money, for example) 

• Show up!  

Be the friend you would want others to be for you. Sometimes friends are only in our lives for a small time, when we work together, when we’re on a sports team or classmate, and sometimes you will be friends for a long time!

Remember To:

Take risks, live your life, ask questions, and find your fun!